Warning Signs to look out for:
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Not showing enjoyment for things they usually enjoy
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Appetite changes
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Changes in sleeping patterns
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Being easily irritated or angry for no reason
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Dropped performance at school, university/TAFE or work
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Engaging in risky behaviour they would usually not engage in (drugs, drinking too much alcohol)
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Displaying difficulties concentrating
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Expressing stress, worry, sadness or crying more than usual
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Expressing negative, distressing, bizarre or unusual thoughts
How do I know if they are really struggling?
It is important to know what signs that differentiate someone from just having a bad day to having a serious mental health issue.
Changes in behaviour and mood are usually an indication that a person is struggling to cope.
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While it is normal to feel down, angry and tense at times, if these changes in behaviour persist over weeks and are not directly related to a single stressful event, then it might be an indication of an underlying mental health issue.
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You don’t have to know exactly what to say, just showing genuine concern and care may be all a person needs.
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Conversations may sometimes be easier during an activity such as on a walk or during a drive.
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If you think the person is in serious danger or you cannot provide the help they need seek professional help.
3 Things to remember
If you are feeling worried or nervous just remember...
Before you start the conversation
Start the conversation
1. Trust your GUT
You can’t help another person unless you are ready and are ok yourself. It is important to know that if you ask someone if they are ok the answer may be no. Therefore you need to ask yourself before you start the conversation:
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Am I in the right headspace to start the conversation?
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Am I willing to listen genuinely to the other person?
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Do I have enough time to have a full, serious conversation if needed?
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Do I know what to say or do in each possible situation?
You can’t help another person unless you are ready and are ok yourself. It is important to know that if you ask someone if they are ok the answer may be no. Therefore you need to ask yourself before you start the conversation:
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Am I in the right headspace to start the conversation?
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Am I willing to listen genuinely to the other person?
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Do I have enough time to have a full, serious conversation if needed?
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Do I know what to say or do in each possible situation?
You can’t help another person unless you are ready and are ok yourself. It is important to know that if you ask someone if they are ok the answer may be no. Therefore you need to ask yourself before you start the conversation:
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Am I in the right headspace to start the conversation?
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Am I willing to listen genuinely to the other person?
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Do I have enough time to have a full, serious conversation if needed?
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Do I know what to say or do in each possible situation?
2. Am I ok First?
Make sure your setting is appropriate to have a conversation
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Am I in a private and comfortable room?
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Can I hear the other person well?
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Will there be any distractions?
3. Pick your Setting
4. Start the conversation
Start by asking them if they are ok and mention any changes you have noticed that have made you think something may not be quite right.
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For example, you may have noticed them sleeping more, looking tired, not talking as much, losing weight, or just seem a bit more down than usual.
You could say something like: “Hey, I have noticed you have been a bit quiet/down lately are you going ok?”
If they do not want to talk
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Tell them you still care and concerned about them.
Avoid any confrontation. If they get angry drop the subject.
Let them know you are still happy to chat later if they need/want to, or whenever they're ready.
Ask them if there is someone else they would rather talk to.
If they do open up about an issue then:
Ask them open-ended questions to create a relaxed environment and allow them to open up. Open-ended questions will also give you a better sense of how they're actually feeling.
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You could say "What things have been going on lately?"
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Listen without judgment or criticism
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Respond seriously and acknowledge that what their dealing with must be hard
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Don’t interrupt or rush the conversation
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If there is silence while they think or let things sink in, be patient and comfortable in the silence.
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Repeat back what you have heard them say in your own words to show that you have listened and to ensure you have a good understanding of their situation. (Everyones situation is unique).
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Reassure them that they are not alone, many people suffer with mental illness and their are many ways to help cope with it.
NEED EMERGENCY HELP?
Sometimes the conversation is beyond what we can help with.
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If someone has been upset for over 2 weeks or is at risk of hurting themselves or others, please seek professional advice.
Lifeline crisis support:
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13 11 14
Beyondblue support service:
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1300 22 4636
If you think someone is not acting like their normal self, seems down more than usual or not participating in activities they usually enjoy, trust your instincts and don’t hesitate, ask them if they are ok.
While it can be tempting to suggest solutions, make assumptions about their experience, or diagnose the person, the most beneficial thing you can do is listen.
We can encourage positive changes by asking questions, such as:
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“What things have you done previously to manage a similar situation?”
“How can I support you?”
If they have been really down, or it seems their ability to function is affected it may be appropriate to suggest seeking professional help.
5. Encourage Action by asking questions:
It’s important that people who are struggling feel supported, so make sure you follow up with them after your conversation.
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Check in often, set a reminder for a couple of days or weeks to contact them.
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You could say something as simple as “I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to see how you have been going since we last spoke?” or "Hey, how was your day today?"
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Ask if they found a way to manage the situation.
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To provide ongoing support help them through setbacks by reassuring them that overcoming mental illness is a process and point out any improvements you see.
6. Check in with them
Genuine social support is essential to helping your friends or family. Stay in contact and keep checking in with them as well as spend time with them enjoying activities that don’t focus on the issue.
About Mental Health
Mental illness is the term used to describe a wide range of illnesses that influence how we feel and think.
Mental illnesses are very common. 1 in 4 young Australians suffer from mental illness, with depression, anxiety and substance abuse being the three most common disorders.
There are many effective treatments and support services to help people manage and deal with mental illnesses.
However, 75% of young people with a mental health problem do not seek help.
Therefore, we think this is an issue worth addressing!
Emergencies
Police & Ambulance
Lifeline
Beyondblue
000
13 11 14
1300 22 4636
ToughTalk does not operate a crisis line and cannot provide medical help. If you or someone you know is in a crisis please call one of the following:
Click on the links below for more information about mental health and crisis support
Support Gallery
HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH
Many of us may see someone (a friend or family member) who may be struggling, however we don't talk to them about it. This may happen for a number of reasons. Three common reasons are 1) We are afraid of the stigma associated with mental health issues, 2) We don't want to upset or offend the person 3) We simply do not know what to say or how to initiate the conversation.
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That is ok.
Here at ToughTalk we want to help you gain the confidence and skills to start up the conversation and help those who may be sturggling.
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Below is our step-by-step guide​ to starting and maintaining the conversation about mental health.
Scroll down to see conversation tips
Welcome to ToughTalk!
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We're here to inform people about mental health issues, reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and equip people with the knowledge, skills and confidence to start a conversation with those who may be struggling with mental illness to ensure those with mental health issues are getting the support and help they need.
Why should we learn how to have tough conversations?
Just being there for some and offering your support can be one of the best things you can do for someone, this is because:
Why Is Social Support Important?
1. A strong social support can influence the person to seek out profession help for their illness.
2. You can help identify or provide emotional support, remind them of appointments, offering transportation, or ensuring that they adhere to appropriate aftercare.
3. Social support acts to reduce the symptoms for many mental illnesses impartial depression.
4. Social support is a buffer to future unexpected events and eases individuals minds, improving mental health